May 11. May 10. May 9. :)

Apparently I haven't been blogging for three days.?
I didn't know that. Seriously.

YESTERDAY&YESTERDAY,YESTERDAY.

Yesterday was the tenth of may. Oh gosh, why does time travel so effing fast. :S
We celebrated niks birthday at mall-y. :)
It was such a b-l-a-s-t. x]

We watched, ' what happens in vegas ' . It was so lawa i tell you :)
Hahaha, we watched it like 7.20 na so. Obviously we didn't do any jalanjalan. :) unlike the usual
jalanjalan at mall:)

It was rather a, i should say, weird night:) Hahaha, because of reasons:D
Its not about niks. Some else alright:)

Afterr the movie we head to arcade which was full of gangster-like people. So, weird:)
I'm not into that kind of crowd okay. I wasn't feeling good that night. So,*ehem*.
Back to the story.
We eventually got into a karaoke booth thing. And sang. Well, I did. :)
Niks wasn't. She was just holding the mike. She was tooo busy talking to mj. So, yeah.

No body knows this tho. When I was singing. Btw, I was singing always be my baby.:(
When I was singing, I was thinking about him and everything. :(

Seriously, no one knows what I was feeling and thinking that night.
This song I kept on repeating over and over again, exactly last week. At this exact time of last week.
:(

I was singing. Every thing of what happened to us that day. Every single second of it.
Every cute little detail. It was coming back to me as I sang that song.
The way he looked at me.
The way he whispered to me.
The way he put he's head on mine.
The way he pinced my cheek.
The way he talked to me.
The way he held my hand.
The way he cared for me.
The way he made the moment so perfect. :(

And, I miss every single bit of it. And I miss the person who did it.
But, it hurts me so bad inside that everything that happened will just for nothing.
That everything was nothing.
It has to mean something.
I know it was only a day.
But, it was perfect.

I'm not asking for anything here.
I'm just a girl who types whatever I feel right now.
And what I feel right now is this.

I'm tearing up inside.
And he doesn't even know.
He's just too effing busy with his ex-girlfriend who he had just gone back with, after me being there for him when he broke up with her.

I cried for him, I never cry for a guy. When I was a kid, I thought it was stupid to cry for a guy.
But, then I cried for him. So I guess I was stupid.

I cried the whole day.

I went to richelle's house to tell her. I didn't cry cause I just couldn't she told me things.
I was okay at first, but I let it all inside. I was thinking she'll think I'm crazy cause it was just a day. So, I didn't say more. I was thinking it'll just result to a fight. So, I could not say anything.

Telling people what happened felt good. It was the best, letting it all out. But, at that point I was getting more hurt by the minute.

No one really knows what I feel for him right now.
I saw him today. And as I waved my hand, I was running away inside. I just could not face him.
At first I was looking around if he was in the area. But, then he wasn't.

But, as I was leaving. His car came by. I was bleeding. :(
I was about to cry. But, I just could not. As my mom was by my side.

For a week, There was no time I didn't think of him.
Everywhere I go.
Whatever I do.

He's planted on my mind. He's glued on my mind. :(

Everyday, I put on a face. Everytime I go out, I pretend to be happy.

He's so stupid to not know what I feel for him. Very stupid.

On May 9th.

Me and the trio had a picnic/jog-aton. x]
I couldn't say much. I didn't talk much. Cause thats what I am in the group.
Me and gel were just watching sar&chelle talk they're asses off :) love you girls<3.

I keep thinking still. But, they just don't know whats up with me. No one really knows.

May9th was fun.

I still bleed inside.

*sigh* I better head off now.

Katz<3.

- you know who you are, it hurts.

I wish you'll learn how to realize that

your already hurting someone.